Another glorious college football season is upon us! We bring you the Week 0 edition of the world’s foremost authority on college football viewership, helping tens of people to clickover from Bama blowouts to more quality games since 2018!

(all times CT because that’s where the SEC West was located)

11 am: North Carolina vs. TCU (ESPN) Normally we’d invent some outlandish scenario for North Carolina to embarrass itself further but they seem to be doing this just fine on their own these days.

2 pm: San Jose State at USC (NBC) Lincoln Riley brought in defensive coordinator Gary Patterson to teach him how to cook brisket. Clickovers to NC State at Virginia (ESPN) and Southern at Alabama State (ESPNU).

6 pm: New Mexico State at Florida State (The CW) The year is 2048 at Mike Norvell is still on the hot seat because Florida State can’t afford his buyout. Clickovers to Hawaii at Stanford (ACCN) and Alabama A&M at Howard.

Sark After Dark: Memphis at UNLV (Fox)