Another glorious college football season is upon us! We bring you the Week 0 edition of the world’s foremost authority on college football viewership, helping tens of people to clickover from Bama blowouts to more quality games since 2018!
Today’s menu: all-day smoked brisket.
(all times CT because that’s where the SEC West is located)
11 am: Villanova at Colgate (CBSSN) - We have to start somewhere, right?
2 pm: Samford vs Youngstown St in Montgomery (ESPN) - Pretty random choice for regular ESPN to start the year with but it’s football of the college variety on the teevee so let’s not be choosy here in Week 0.
6 pm: Jorts vs Turnover Chains in Orlando (ESPN, ACCN, SECN) - The Florida Man Derby for all the Four Loko. How many more players will transfer out of these respective programs before kickoff? How will the authorities cope with this much Florida Man cologne-fueled machismo in one stadium?
Pac12 After Dark (9:30 pm): Arizona at Hawaii (CBSSN) - The game of the day in our book. Does Sumlin’s Swag Copter have enough range to reach the islands? Hawaii posted their first winning season since 2010 last year and have a giant pass-happy quarterback with a hairstyle that is best described as dreadlock-mullet.